First off, let me say this is going to be a difficult post to write. Back in 2003/2004 no one was riding the College Dropout band wagon harder than me. In fact, I even journeyed to Utica, NY for a Kanye Concert. Thats right people, Utica. Anyone who knows anything about the city of Utica can attest that nothing short of a blow job from 1998 Carmen Electra would make the city worth visiting. I am getting off topic. To the point.
So there are a few things that are bothering me with Kanye after listening to his newest album: 808s & Heartbreak. First and foremost: What the fuck am I listening to? It is not rap. I really have no clue what it is. Is it...singing?... singing and techno? Just techno? Is Sean Kingston singing in the background while a monkey fucks a record player? I don’t get it. I think that if Musiq Soulchild, Beck, La Bouche, and Sarah Palin's retarded daughter were to collaborate it would sound a lot like Kanye West in 808s & Heartbreak.
Secondly, and more importantly: the content. Apparently Kanye’s girlfriend or wife broke up with him or something?!? BAHAHAHA... Who gives a shit? But seriously, he dealt with the situation like we all would… by writing, recording, producing, and releasing 12 tracks of unadulterated pathetic misery. But don’t worry folks, he isn’t selfish- he was nice enough to be equally pitiful as a guest on Young Jeezy’s Put On (which I still think is the best song of 2008, even with Kanye’s abortion of a performance). Listen Kayne, I am no therapist, but the last time I got broken up with (which was when I was in 7th Grade) this is what I did to get over it: AIM the shit out of every bitch on my buddy list, drink a shit load of Mountain Dew, and stay up real late playing Twisted Metal 2. This is what I didn’t do: run around whining like a bitch and ruin perfectly good Young Jeezy tracks. You might want to try my way next time, because god dammit, America’s getting real sick of your bitching.
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