Thursday, July 22, 2010

Virgin Hater of the Week

To quote Mr. Belding, what is going on here?



If you haven't seen it, and I'm sure you haven't, another random dude posted on that Stewie Griffin post I made a while back.

Dean said...
Stewie is a GAY BABY, bent on world domination, McPeePants. That's inherently funny.

The show is parody, not plagiarism. As for ripping off The Simpsons, what it actually did was completely neuter that show. Remember when The Simpsons used to seem somewhat subversive? Ever since The Family Guy entered the picture, The Simpsons has seemed about as edgy as My Three Sons or The Brady Bunch.

As for South Park, well that shtick got stale after the movie came out; maybe after the initial viiral video. Played out and not the least bit funny.

Seth Macfarlane is a genius. You probably prefer Leno to Conan, too.
MARCH 3, 2010 3:40 AM


Nothing to bring out haters online like making fun of Stewie Griffin. That’s like saying Luke Skywalker sucks at flying spaceships. Or Megan Fox is ugly.

/braces for impact

There is nothing inherent about a GAY BABY who is bent on world domination. Sounds like Pinky and the Brain. Come to think of it, Stewie does look a lot like one of them

And is your name really Dean? That blows. Or are you a dean? If that’s the case, then go fuck yourself. I’ve never met a dean I liked, and that includes the brilliantly named Dean Cain in How High. Redman, get em!



And why did you write this at 3:40 AM? Oh right, you’re a loser. Why are you reading our blog? I appreciate, but still. And what the FUCK is My Three Sons?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/My_Three_Sons

Goddamn, you must be old. How are we supposed to get that reference? This is the internet, not a church parking lot after Sunday mass.

“Played out and not the least bit funny” Dean, regarding South Park.

(Silence)

(Boos)



And what a great internet-blog-posting quip about Conan to drive home your point at the end. YOU GOT ME! I love Leno, he’s the best! Oh wait, you’re the one in the target market, Mr. Baby boomer.

Enjoy Alzheimer’s disease, I’ll be busy making your daughter call me Stewie.

Cut your goddamn hair, Justin Bieber




First off, the kid lives with Usher. This is some Michael Jackson shit right hurr, U-S-H-E-R R-A-Y-M-O-N-D, my man, I used to be down with you. You were like the black Justin Timberlake, but whiter. I grinded puberty penis all over my slow dance partner to your shit back in the day. And lest I forget to mention “Yeah!” with Lil John, which kept Senor Frogs rocking so well they played it every fucking other song when I was on high school spring break. But now you are just living with this kid? Like combing his hair? Teaching him how to shave? What the fuck.

Here is a video of a little girl crying.

After this video blew up herpes-like all over the internets, Bieber took time to find the girl and attempt to give her a heart attack at 3 years old. She somehow survived, so add her to the piles and piles of prepubescent girls adoring this little pumpkin-pie haircutted freak. And is he hooking up with these girls? The ones who grow the boobs in 6th grade? Or like a horny high schooler? I’m sure Usher just tosses him a magnum when he heads into bed for a Thai-fuckfest, right?

I really want this kid to get hard by puberty. Like become different looking and grow tits or something. He basically lives like Elvis and Obama put together, and should be in like 8th grade. In 8th grade I was calling up a friend with movie channels to see if Erotic Confessions was playing, then go to his house if it was. And I thought I was king shit because I was watching Cinemax.

I hate how he is in rap songs so now I’m pressured to give him some cred. From the accounts of hip-hop hoodrats to probably like, I don’t know, Desean Jackson, this kid is blowing up twitter with entries like “No homo lol but I can fucks with that Bieber white kid. Lol hit me upppp” But no, fuck that. I’m not going to like someone just because Ludacris tells me to. Although he was right about chicken and beer, telling bitches to move out of the way, rolling out, and putting the windows up when I fuck in the backseat.

I’m calling crazed fan shopping mall stabbing in 2014.

Friday, July 9, 2010

Eat Shit and Die: Lebron James



Granted no one used to read this blog when we actually wrote for it, and we ended up aborting this thing quicker than a baby inside a liberal presidential candidates unmarried teenage daughter, but I have to weigh in on this Lebron James thing. For the last year or so I have been screaming off of rooftops how much I hate Lebron James. Every time I hop on the treadmill and tune into sports center to, god forbid, watch highlights of actual sporting events I get flooded with 20 minutes of Lebron James updates. How did Lebron play last night? Where is he going to head next season? Is he going to play for Jay-Z? Is he going to rap for Jay-Z? Did Lebron hurt his hand? Did Lebron hurt his toe? Did Lebron masterbate last night? If so, did he use lotion? If not, did he use something else cool that I haven't even heard of, like toothpaste?
Now I realize that this isn't Lebron's fault, BUT when you decide to host a hour long prime time special announcing where you are headed next season, that is your fault. Every time he talks its always "me, me, me...this is what I did..." Since Lebron has entered the NBA we have seen him develop into one of the most whiney and egotistical athletes this world has ever seen. Now he decides to establish himself as a real leader by jumping on a team where he can hide behind D-Wade when he doesn't want to do it himself. Not to mention Chris Bosh. How stacked do the Heat need to be? I remember once watching a team of all of the NBAs best players on one team play an ordinary team, and the ordinary team won. The year was 1996, and the movie was Space Jam. Fuck the Monstars, and fuck the Heat.

As far as I'm concerned the only way the Heat management can right this wrong is by making a few more clutch key free agent moves before the season begins in order to put together America's most hated team. Acquire T.O., Kanye West, and Dane Cook and their line up would look a little something like this:

F Lebron James
F Terrell Owens
G Kanye West
G Dane Cook
G Mario Chalmers

No offense to Mario Chalmers, but someones gotta bring the ball up the court and Dane Cook isn't as nimble as he needs to be in his skinny jeans. Then, they hire the drunk dad from Independence Day as the team pilot and we all can root for plane crash like the future of Amurica depends on it...