Tenor I could do without: Chris Brown

Can’t say I’ve ever been a fan of R&B singers. Chris Breezy is no different. I was first introduced to him as the guy who died in the beginning of Stomp the Yard. Later, I learned that he porks Rihanna and made a song about Doublemint gum.

Now it turns out he beat up on his girlfriend the night before the Grammys. Yet another reason why rappers are better than “singers” such as C-Brow. First of all, rappers don’t have a girlfriend to slap around. They have hoes in different area codes, mind you. Also, they are too busy smoking blunts and counting their money to make a girl bruise. I must say I was shocked to hear a story like this about Brown. What’s next? Omarion stabs his mom? O-Town caught in a dog fighting ring? Roger, the annoying neighbor from Sister, Sister, putting out CDs like we don’t remember where we know him from? Pathetic.

I think rap stars look forward to award shows. I guarantee that the Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards is circled on R. Kelly’s calendar. Award shows give rap stars the opportunity to show off that new chain, watch, or semi-automatic handgun. In 2004, Young Buck stabbed some lucky guy in the chest because he had punched Dr. Dre in the back of the head. My grandpa said it was his favorite VIBE Awards to date.

Award shows are places for partially illiterate musicians to try to read teleprompters after taking an eighth of chronic and three cups of syrup to the head. They aren’t places to show off the bruises you created by smacking your bitch up.